


Gallantry

by dyad (johnnycake)



Series: In the Bleak Midwinter... [2]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M, Violence, War, World War 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 06:18:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20253541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnnycake/pseuds/dyad
Summary: Tommy is wounded in battle during the war and only one thing saves him from oblivion.





	Gallantry

**Author's Note:**

> be sure to read the notes for the series if you're new here!!
> 
> i'm rly happy with how this turned out. i was gonna make it longer, but it felt like it needed to end where it did, so i let it be.

It was night in the trenches that was the worst. It got worse than that when there was fighting. All that could be heard were the screams of men and the sound of gunfire. All that could be seen were the blinding explosions of mortars, dirt flying into the air around them, and the bright staccato bursts of rifles, pistols, and machine guns going off in the otherwise pitch dark. And all Tommy could feel was the thick layer of grime on his face and hands, his own gasping breath against his dirty skin as he lay in the mud, trying to predict where the next bursts of light would come from, where the next mortar would hit, so he or any of his men weren’t in the path of either one.

Tommy lay flat against the ground, aiming at the bright bursts of light, firing his own weapon before ducking back down into the trench as the men across the way returned fire. He gasped with the bullets hit the ground far too close for comfort and looked around to make sure John and Arthur, Jeremiah and Danny, Freddie and all the others, hadn’t been hit by the lethal bits of metal either. He was their Sargent Major. He was the one in charge of these men and it would be his fault if any one of them got hit, if any one of them died because they got hit.

He would not let that happen.

Not again.

It had happened too many times already.

A mortar exploded nearby. Tommy fired his weapon as the dirt fell back to the ground, fighting the urge to duck back down into the trench instead, praying the falling earth would hide the bright bursts as he fired his weapon. He heard someone scream nearby too, but it sounded more like in anger than in pain. The voice sounded like John’s or Arthurs.

But everything did in this violent hell.

It was his second worst fear, losing them.

The first was not getting back home and leaving Miri all alone.

Miri.

The love his life. The girl he wanted to marry, though he hadn’t even had the courage yet to tell her that he loved her. His light in the darkness. His reason for living.

_Miri, Miri, Miri. _

Her name was a mantra and prayer and both meant the same thing.

_Watch over us, keep us safe, bring me home. _

_ Bring me home._

It had been far too long since he’d seen her.

Sometimes he saw her at night. Sometimes he heard her singing to him in Roma. Sometimes he could almost feel her fingers on his face. Sometimes he could almost hear her whispering she loved him. Sometimes she was all that kept him safe, her voice making him look away at the right time, her words telling him what he needed to know to keep himself and his men alive.

It was always Miri, saving him over and over and over again.

It was always Miri. And it always would be.

Tommy heard the gunfire this time before he saw it, but he saw it’s trajectory just soon enough that he saw it was going to hit John.

There wasn’t enough time to return fire.

There wasn’t time to yell at John to move.

There was only time to act.

Tommy lunged across the space between them, pushing John out of the way.

John fell backwards into the trench, gasping, but he didn’t have enough time to be angry.

Most of the bullets missed him, but one hit him right in the abdomen, right where his stomach was. Tommy let out a cry, falling backwards into the trench beside John, the world spinning in violent circles around him, the bullets flying over them, hitting the back wall of the trench behind them.

“Tommy? Tommy – fuck, that’s a lot of blood,” said John’s voice from somewhere off to his right. He glanced at him with his eyes. John looked on the verge of tears, his fist pressed to his lips.

Tommy felt with shaking fingers for all the letters Miri had written him. He kept them shoved in his shirt, right over his heart, the whole lot of them. If he was going to die, he was going to die thinking of her, touching the only bit of her he had with him.

“What happened?” another voice asked.

This one belonged to Freddie.

“Fuckin’ Gerries hit him in the stomach,” John replied in cracking voice.

He felt someone undoing his uniform, pulling his clothes apart, inspecting the wound. “Oh that looks bad. That looks really, really bad.”

This was Freddie.

“We have to get him to the medical tent,” John replied desperately.

Freddie shook his head. “We can’t. Not until morning. Not until the fighting stops. Or we’ll all get shot on the way over there.”

“John,” Tommy gasped out, clutching at him. “John, the fire’s coming from the east, but the mortars are coming from the west. Tell the others. Tell the others to watch the east and stay away from the west. It’s coming from the both sides. That’s-that’s how they’re getting us.”

“Tommy, what about the north?” John asked, glancing in that direction.

“It’s a decoy,” he gasped, swallowing. “A distraction. They’re not trying to hit us there.”

John nodded and got up, running down the trenches, shouting what Tommy had just said.

“Tommy, I’m going to get Jeremiah,” Freddie said, his hand on his shoulder. “He’ll get the bullet out, but Tommy...it’s really going to hurt.”

“Go get him, Freddie,” Tommy gasped.

“Tommy –” Freddie began.

“Go get him! That’s an order, alright?” Tommy said a little louder, reaching out to touch Freddie’s shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze. “Just give me something to press against it, so I don’t bleed out while you’re gone.”

Freddie swallowed and nodded, taking off his shirt under his uniform and giving it to Tommy before running off in the opposite direction John had gone, shouting for Jeremiah.

Tommy blinked and suddenly Miri was sitting beside him. He could almost feel her hands smoothing down his hair as she said, “Tommy, you have to stay awake. You can’t fall asleep. Not until they get you to the medical tent, alright? Swear to me you won’t fall asleep.” She spoke quietly, though somehow still loud enough to be heard over all the chaos unfolding around them.

He reached out, touching Miri’s face. “I’ll stay awake,” he promised. “But you-you may have to help me, alright, love? You may have to help me.”

Miri nodded.

He knew Miri wasn’t really there. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that, but in that moment it didn’t matter and he didn’t care. Though he couldn’t touch her, he knew she was there in all the ways that mattered.

“I’ll stay with you all night,” Miri said softly, bending down. He closed his eyes, imagining he could feel her as she pressed her face against his. His hand ran down her arm that wasn’t there, clutching her elbow, pulling her closer. “I won’t leave you. And I won’t let you fall asleep, I promise.”

“I love you, Miri,” he breathed. “I love you. I’ll come home and tell you that, I swear it.”

“Tommy!” Freddie’s voice. “I got Jeremiah!”

Tommy opened his eyes. Miri was gone. She’d been replaced by Freddie and Jeremiah.

“This is really going to hurt, Thomas,” Jeremiah said, carefully lifting Tommy’s hand and the shirt he’d been pressing against the wound to inspect it. “And you’re going to have to wrap it with...something. Or you’ll bleed out. The bullet is what’s keeping it all in right now. But...keeping it in will make it go septic.”

“I know all that, Jeremiah,” Tommy said, his voice breathless. “Just do it.”

Jeremiah pulled out a small tool kit and turned to Freddie, saying, “Hold his hand and give him some of your whiskey.”

Freddie nodded once and gave Tommy the whiskey. He took a shot of it, not looking at what Jeremiah was doing. He’d gotten shot twice before. He knew from experience watching it would only make it hurt that much worse, anticipation would only make it that much worse. He just had to lie there and take it as best he could.

Pain exploded in his abdomen as Jeremiah began to dig into the wound, working the bullet up through the tissue and blood to the surface. Tommy screamed, writhing underneath him, Freddie holding him down by his shoulders to make him stop.

“Tommy, it’s alright.”

Miri’s voice. He held onto it, focusing on it instead of the pain.

“It’s alright, Tommy, it’ll be over in a minute.”

She started singing to him in Roma, a gypsy lullaby his mother used to sing to him as a child.

“Miri,” he breathed.

“What?” Freddie asked.

But Tommy didn’t answer. He reached for her.

He could almost feel it when she laced her fingers through his.

“I got it,” Jeremiah said, holding up a blood covered bullet. His fingers were slick with Tommy’s blood too. Without warning, he pulled out his own flash and poured some alcohol on the wound.

Tommy yelled in pain, bucking under Freddie’s hands that were still trying to hold him down.

Jeremiah quickly began binding the wound, taking off his own shirt for extra padding and pressure. When John returned with Arthur, he made them take their shirts off too.

“Will that be enough?” Arthur asked nervously, looking at Jeremiah.

Jeremiah had pressed his lips into a thin line. He looked grim. “We can only pray.”

“I’m not going to die, Jeremiah,” Tommy said, his eyelids fluttering as the adrenaline started to wear off and he felt exhaustion set in. “I have to get home. I have to see her again. I _will_ see her again.”

John and Arthur looked at each other. Jeremiah looked at them, a question in his eyes.

Arthur said something, but Tommy didn’t hear it. Everything was coming to him through a fog now. And Miri was beside him again. She was on his other side, her fingers still laced through his, still singing to him the same gypsy lullaby. She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles. He could almost feel it. “I love you,” she said softly.

“I love you, Miri,” Tommy gasped out. “I love you. I’m coming home to you. I promise.”

“One of us has to stay with him,” Freddie was saying, his eyes on Tommy, as everyone buttoned their uniforms back up.

“I’m his older brother, I’ll do it,” Arthur said, sitting beside Tommy, his back up against the back of the trench, his rifle resting beside him.

“Go back to your posts, the rest of you,” Tommy said, trying to sound stronger than he was. “That’s an order, alright?”

John, Jeremiah, and Freddie nodded. John said, “Yes, sir.”

The fighting lasted all night. More than once, Arthur ducked to avoid getting hit by the bullets that sprayed the back of the trench. They were mostly out of range, but it was muscle memory at this point. All of the soldiers did it. Even when they weren’t in immediate danger.

“Miri,” Tommy breathed, his eyes closed. “Miri.”

“I’m here, Thomas.” Her soft voice next to him. He could smell her hair. “I’m here.”

“Miri, tell me about home, tell me about the flowers blooming in the fields by your camp.”

“There are poppies, Tommy,” she said softly. “And a whole bush of roses. And bleeding hearts. And so many bright blue forget-me-nots. They look like your eyes, Tommy. They’re so blue. I’ll give you more flowers when you get home, I promise.”

Tommy’s hand went to the letters in his breast pocket again.

“I’ve got all your letters,” he said, swallowing and gasping. “I know all of them by heart.”

“Come home to me, Tommy,” Miri said, her voice a breathless whisper. “Come home.”

“I will, Miri,” Tommy said, turning his face towards her. She was so close to him. She was with him. She had to be. He could feel her hair on his face. “I promise. I swear it.”

The world faded in and out of focus, spinning in circles. Men shouted. Mortars blew. Gunfire ricocheted off the walls of the trenches around them and Tommy fought to stay conscious, listening to Miri’s voice, calling her name every so often when she went quiet.

“Miri,” he gasped. “How close is it to dawn?”

“Not long now,” she replied, her voice always soft, always soothing.

“Has the fighting stopped?”

“No, not yet. But it will.”

“I’m not going to die, Miri, I swear it. I’m not going to leave you.”

“I know, Thomas. I know. Just stay awake. Stay awake.”

Finally, Tommy felt a hand shake his shoulder and Arthur’s voice say, “The fighting’s stopped, Tommy. Me and Freddie are gonna take ya to the medical tent, alright?”

Tommy nodded. “Hurry,” was all he said.

He felt hands lift him, putting him on a stretcher that seemed to come out of nowhere. He felt himself lifted and carried out of the trenches. He would be back. He would. He wasn’t going to let them send him home. Not yet. Not when the men needed him. And he wasn’t going to die either. He promised Miri he would return. He couldn’t leave her. He couldn’t. She needed him.

“Miri,” he called.

“I’m right here, Thomas.”

She floated next to him, following him out of the trenches all the way to the medical tent where Arthur began shouting and Freddie began explaining and doctors began yelling frantic words back and forth to each other, but Tommy didn’t hear either any of them. He only heard Miri, singing to him in Roma, telling him she loved him.

“I love you, Miri,” he said, his words more breath than voice. “I love you. I love you.”

Then he was moving again, being carried through the tent to a room with bright lights and metal instruments. The doctors put something over his face and told him to breathe. “I can’t sleep,” he gasped out. “I can’t sleep. I won’t wake up.”

“Just breathe, Sargent Major,” the doctor said. “You’ll wake up again, I promise.”

Tommy couldn’t hold his breath forever and breathed.

The world faded away.

All except for Miri’s singing.

He swore her voice would carry on until the end of the world.

And she would continue to save him forever.

**Author's Note:**

> i realize that he probably would've died if this is how it actually happened irl, but i live in the world where i bend the rules of nature to conform to my angst needs in fic writing. 
> 
> i have another idea for this couple, but i wanna write a few more things first and i also needta figure out how i wanna write it since i had a scenario for how it would happen originally, but idk what to do with that scenario now, so...we'll figure it out.
> 
> if any of y'all have any suggestions for fics for this series PLS lemme know!!


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